An Electronic Evolution

Not to be Captain Obvious here because you've probably already noticed but, I'm writing to you from my new laptop. You can totally tell, right? I'll let you in on a little secret - I just wrote those sentences without my computer freezing, spazzing, or blowing up. Luckily, the latter never actually happened with the old laptop, but I think it could have at any moment.

I don't have a very good track record with laptops. They don't last very long. In my defense, it's rarely my fault.

My first laptop, the one I got for college, was awesome. Well, actually, maybe awesome isn't the word.
But it was blue and new and MINE. It made it through 4 years of college...cranking out papers an hour before they were due, taking the beatings of my not-so-graceful movements and, of course, discovering Facebook. Perhaps that's where my loyalty to that blue Toshiba started...we discovered college, Facebook, YouTube, and the sweet sounds of Kelly Clarkson, Jay-Z, and techno Sweet Caroline together. Many an episode of One Tree Hill was watched on that dear Toshiba. Even when it froze, I stuck with it. When it wouldn't turn off? I claimed it was great. It melted? I got it fixed.

Yeah, I said melted. Not "melt-down." Melted. My roommate literally melted my computer. It involved a desk lamp bent over my laptop and keys melting and running down the front of it. The computer repairman didn't quite know what to say. He said my warranty probably didn't cover it but he wasn't sure because there wasn't a "melted" box on the checklist. (Thank you, repairman, for filling out the form so that it did, indeed, get covered under the warranty). That sweet little deformed bump by the spacebar was like my computer's "battle wound," a hard-to-explain scar from our college years.

Sadly, the Toshiba got to the point when it took 20 minutes to load a page. Then, it would turn off. As if to say, "You graduated. My job is done. Stop downloading such fratty music and Facebook stalking people you haven't seen in 5 years. I quit."

So began my chain of hand-me-down computers. Since I was a newly graduated broke 20-something (when does this phase end?) I welcomed a free computer. Therefore, my parents generously offered to get themselves new computers so I could have a free one. Here's the typical cycle: Dad gets a new computer as a "work necessity," Mom gets Dad's computer, then I get Mom's computer. There was a kink in the plan a few years later when my Mom decided she didn't really want the hand-me-down Mac and got herself a soon-to-be-mine Sony Vaio (more on that later).

This where I think it is pretty obvious that I am no longer at fault for the short lives of my laptops. They were used. It had to have been my Mom, not me. Perhaps her fear that the "blogs" were taking up too much space on her hard drive, was justified. Something was crapping up that hard drive.

There was Vaio #1. It lasted about a year. Then it slowed. Reeeeally slowed. Then came Vaio #2 (the aforementioned "Mom's new purchase" Vaio which ironically was then replaced by another Mac. Go figure). We had two good years together, that Vaio #2 and I. It lived about 5 years total.

To be honest, Vaio #2 and I had been having problems for a while. It took a long time to boot up. And to shut down. And to load pages. There was one instance when it wouldn't start back up at all. I gave it about 8 hours and was finally able to bring it back to life. I figured that was a one time thing. Like a computer flu or something (I would say virus but that is actual thing).

Then, enter "the last weekend incident."

Last weekend, (thus the name), Vaio #2 froze. I tried to restart the proper way in which the manuel instructs. Didn't work. So I held the power button down in an effort to cold boot it off. Nothing. So stubborn. Finally, something started to flicker and it showed the "shutting down" screen. Twenty minutes later, still "shutting down." I decided, "I'll go for a run and then see if the Restart worked."

Thirty minutes later (Yeah, I ran like 26 miles) I came back to "shutting down." NOT COOL. I held down the power button again...dude, is this like the most boring story ever, or what? I promise it's almost over...finally, blackness filled the screen. Then, it wouldn't turn back on. I made a desperate call to my dad and whined a long and panicked,

"DaddyIDon'tKnowWhatToDoMyComputerIsn'tWorkingAndIReallyNeedAComputerButICan'tAffordANewOne-DoYouThinkThereIsACheapOption?IWouldLookItUpLonlineButICan'tGetOnline.Catch22.CanICome-UseYourComputerAndWillYouGoWithMeToBestBuy??PLEEAASE?"

There may have been a few tears of frustration thrown in there.

Dad and I weighted the options: Netbook, Laptop, or Ipad. I was really hoping the Ipad would be the most cost-effective solution. Sadly, it wasn't.

Equipped with our knowledge from a Google search and the advice of my sis and bro-in-law, we ventured into Best Buy. NERD ALERT. I hadn't been in a Best Buy in a long time. It was slightly overwhelming. For some reason, they had none of the overhead lights on. Why? I don't know. But I felt like an old person. I kept saying "Dad, what does that say? Why do they write it so tiny? Can't they turn a light on in this place? Are they off because they're demonstrating that dancing video game at the front of the store?" I was two orthopedic shoes away from shaking a can and saying "and turn down that rock n'roll racket you kids are listening to."

I went to the cheapest tiniest netbook computer and said, "This one looks good!" Long gone are the days when I pick items based on color and snazzy signs. I guess that's what happens when you're broke 20-something (but seriously, when is that over?). Fortunately my Dad was there to ask all the right questions.

We solicited the advice of a helpful Best Buy sales nerd (I mean that endearingly) in a bright blue shirt and pleated khaki pants (what was I saying about not judging things based their appearances?). He proved to be most helpful. The three laptop/netbook options we had narrowed down to were the three he said would not work well for the functions I needed. Long story short (you thought I'd never say that, right?) we settled on a Dell laptop.

*SIDE NOTE: Speaking of judging things, I have to share a small story. Let me start by saying, I'm not cool, I don't know about computers, and I'm kind of a hermit. But when the guys behind the Geek Squad counter were talking as helpful-blue-shirt-sales-nerd rand us up, I totally eavesdropped. One said, "Wait, you mean you were band geek?? Seriously? Oh my god, man. That's lame." It took all of my energy not to blurt out, "Wait, you weren't all band geeks?" As we were leaving I turned to my Dad and said, "I think maybe we were the coolest people in there. Can you belive it?" To which he respond, "Yeah, I agree. That's sad."

**ADDITIONAL SIDE NOTE: I think the band geeks are the ones who break out of the broke 20-something phase of life before 30.

Now, back to my story.

So, here I sit. I'm behind my new, sleek, black, mid-priced Dell laptop. This post (and wow, it's a doozy) would've taken 2.5 TV shows worth of time to write on ol' Vaio #2. Guess what...I'm not even all the way through one episode of Glee. It's a whole new world here. I can stream videos without excessive "buffering" interruptions. I can blog faster, search quicker, and follow Tweets more efficiently.

This is a new laptop and it's MINE. Well, really it's the credit card's right now. But, in a few more pay periods...it's MINE. All mine.

And that is the story of my 4 laptops.

And then I found 5 dollars.